Mr. Lonely

Loneliness is such a horrible feeling.  It takes the life blood from us and saps it out little by little.  Songs have been written about loneliness since the beginning of time.  Most of us worry about a time when we will be alone, and even worse die alone.  That is one of the biggest fears for most of mankind.  Dying alone.

With the internet this insidious loneliness can manifest itself in very nasty and soul harming ways.  Gone are the days when we used to sit on a stoop at our grandmothers and talk to all of her neighbors or play stickball in the street.  Instead we hole ourselves up in front of a computer and find ourselves in the most precarious of situations, alone with a vehicle that can drive us right into a ditch.  Or even worse, it can bring out our inner demons and allow them to run rampant in our brains.

Anything you would never do to your neighbor standing in front of you can be done at a computer screen.  You can anonymously make other people feel like crap just by typing a few words onto a computer screen.  But when you are acting anonymously you are being untrue to yourself, the very essence of who you are.  You live in the shadows instead of the light.

Since I was a girl I am a magnet for lonely people and you know what I kind of like that about myself, because being that kind of person almost assures you that you are not lonely.  I will always walk out on a limb to make somebody, anybody not feel alone.  I think we all have that in our souls but we just don't want to give of ourselves to make another person feel joy.  We don't want to be the first one to say hello how are you today.

Well let me be that person, hello how are you today?  Or more accurately tonight.  Why are you up so late writing your blog on the computer?  Because I just couldn't sleep and nighttime is the worst time to be alone.  If you get lonely during the day you can go to a store or take a walk in the park but in the middle of the night you are on your own.  That is the time when compasion is needed the most when you find out just how lonely someone can be.

All I can do, me, myself and I is offer friendship to the lonely.  Offer them a kind word and to let them know you are not alone, I am typing on my computer talking to you.  I am buying my groceries from you and smiling and asking how is your day?  I am always here.  Email me if you need a friend because in my opinion everyone needs at least one every now and then.

Blessings and do me a favor, next time you are waiting on a long line at a supermarket and you are frustrated beyond belief, say hello.  Ask how is your day going?  A few little words can make a big difference.  And maybe throw in a smile.

I'm Getting Ready

I woke up this morning with a peace in my heart that differs from the dream I awakened from.  I am ready to serve my purpose.  My purpose is to bring light from the darkness and find love in all things. 

Love is the answer to all questions.  I have been blessed to love much in a very imperfect world.  I learned to love unconditionally at a young age and it has served me well.  I approach life with a kind and compassionate heart.  Yes I am a mere mortal who has made many mistakes in my life, but the one constant in my life is love.

I have been so blessed to have the unconditional love of my mother for the beginning of my life and the unconditional love of my son for my latter years.  I have been blessed to have the love of friends and family  many who I have known since my childhood and have many beautiful soulful new friends.  I am blessed to have the love of the needle arts which have carried me from childhood to adulthood.  They are the one constant in my life that has seen me through many losses and light moments.   I have been blessed with the love of forgiveness, no matter what happens I forgive and perhaps not forget but move on.

And now I have the biggest challenge of my love life.  The challenge to love myself and forgive myself for not living up to my God given talents.  I need to love myself and forgive myself for allowing myself to be defined by the losses and anger that have kept me stuck most of my life. So that is where I am at the moment, a new step forward in forgiveness and love. 

I can’t do anything about the past.  I am unsure of my future.  But I can live each moment forward doing something that I love.  I can be the transformation from a person who has not lived up to my potential and become someone who is living her dream. 

I’m Getting Ready to Believe is a song by Michael Kiwanuka.  He has a beautiful voice and an inspirational message that is a thread throughout his work.   I am blessed to have a friend who recommended his music and Michael's music has gotten me through many dark moments in the last few months. 

 

Blessings to you on your journey of love and the walk towards the light from the darkness.