I'm Getting Ready

I woke up this morning with a peace in my heart that differs from the dream I awakened from.  I am ready to serve my purpose.  My purpose is to bring light from the darkness and find love in all things. 

Love is the answer to all questions.  I have been blessed to love much in a very imperfect world.  I learned to love unconditionally at a young age and it has served me well.  I approach life with a kind and compassionate heart.  Yes I am a mere mortal who has made many mistakes in my life, but the one constant in my life is love.

I have been so blessed to have the unconditional love of my mother for the beginning of my life and the unconditional love of my son for my latter years.  I have been blessed to have the love of friends and family  many who I have known since my childhood and have many beautiful soulful new friends.  I am blessed to have the love of the needle arts which have carried me from childhood to adulthood.  They are the one constant in my life that has seen me through many losses and light moments.   I have been blessed with the love of forgiveness, no matter what happens I forgive and perhaps not forget but move on.

And now I have the biggest challenge of my love life.  The challenge to love myself and forgive myself for not living up to my God given talents.  I need to love myself and forgive myself for allowing myself to be defined by the losses and anger that have kept me stuck most of my life. So that is where I am at the moment, a new step forward in forgiveness and love. 

I can’t do anything about the past.  I am unsure of my future.  But I can live each moment forward doing something that I love.  I can be the transformation from a person who has not lived up to my potential and become someone who is living her dream. 

I’m Getting Ready to Believe is a song by Michael Kiwanuka.  He has a beautiful voice and an inspirational message that is a thread throughout his work.   I am blessed to have a friend who recommended his music and Michael's music has gotten me through many dark moments in the last few months. 

 

Blessings to you on your journey of love and the walk towards the light from the darkness.

My Soul is Speaking

My soul and I have been having a rather tough time of it at late.  Lots of changes, lots of turbulence, lots of long lengthy conversations about how I ended up where I am today.  It's a really good question and much to depressing for an inspirational blog but my soul seemed to know something about me that I didn't know.  That was how to love.  How to love music, how to love embroidery, how to love my son, how to love texture and subtlety, how to love to express, both in words and art.  How to be grateful for the friends and family you have, because even in bad moments as mere mortals we are blessed to have love and be reminded of hate.

Hate is a very destructive emotion.  It kind of eats you up from the inside out.  My soul seems to have been winning the battle as of late but hate is still there somewhere.  But once again I hope this to be inspirational, if it inspires you to be responsible for your own well-being I've done my job here.  Whenever you don't make a conscious effort to choose who you want to be, something or someone else makes that choice for you.  And then it depends on whether that person is a good force or a bad force.  You kind of get to choose your own reality so may the force be with you.

My soul has lost 30 pounds since some time last December.  It's stopped every bad habit it ever had.  It made me look at my life and make some positive changes, it lovingly talks to me every single day and has taught me how to love myself again and clean up my act so to speak.  But I guess the changes haven't happened quickly enough because here is the mere mortal still making huge mistakes.  I'm not exactly following that axiom of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, but it's close enough to give me pause.

So here I am at the moment making a choice.  My choice is to follow my dreams with abandon.  Write my blogs, make my art, finish getting rid of the clutter of my mind and my body,  so that I can bring only the things I love with me to my new life and make some smart decisions for a change

To make my soul lighter. .   The interesting part of the last few months is that  my soul knew something profound was happening to me but I of course being a mere mortal wasn't really aware of it until it was probably too late.  But the dreamer in me still thinks someday my prince will come.  And when he comes he will love me just exactly how  I am because he has been looking for someone to wake up from her sleep and ride off into the sunset with him.  Now that last part may be a fairy tale but fairy tales can come true it can happen to you if you're young at heart.  And  besides what every sleeping beauty needs is a fairy tale. And what every woman of the millenium needs is to find all the things she loves, put them all together and work towards making all of her dreams a reality.  In my reality, I love to write, I love to hand embroider, I love to dance, I love to knit.  I love to be a stitcher of broken hearts and a mender of lonely people.    And you know what I kind of inspired myself here because I feel better now than I did an hour ago.  So I stitched myself too.