Assistance from the Universe

I believe in God and I believe in a loving and giving universe.  I always have and I always will.  I believe that there are always answers which can be found within.  When within has another person's voice living in it, it can not make rational decisions for it's future.  I have lived my entire life having other people make decisions for me. Telling me who I am and who I am not and frankly I believed it.  I've come to the conclusion that as long as I listen to that voice I will never know who I am.


So I have to hit the road. I am a hand embroiderer and blog writer other than that I do not know who I am and I will never find out here.  So if you know who I am and would like to offer a spare room, a couch or a sleeping bag it would be greatly appreciated.  The hand embroiderer will hand embroider in silence anywhere the road takes her and feed herself and do her own laundry.  She will write wonderful blog posts about the generosity of the people who will let her stay with them for a few days or a week or a month(only kidding) while she hand embroiders and contemplates her future. Hopefully I will find a bunch of different locations I can drive to and enough couches that I will not have to burden only one person with my hand embroidering, blogging presence.

I am going through a spiritual awakening so you need not worry in case you have any axes in your home.  I am too proud to ask any one person for help and frankly am sick of crying on the shoulders of my best friends up here who have had to deal with all the voices in my head(including God, my mother and other various angels who have been trying to guide me out of my own personal hell).

So if you haven't decided an asylum is a better location please email me or call me and let me come stay with you with my tail and my hand embroidery trailing behind me.  About the asylum, I have two very good mental health care professionals who have decided a hospitalization is not needed.  I do however need some assistance from some wonderful people I have been lucky enough to get to know who hopefully know me and will realize I will never ask them for help. I do not like to be thought of as a burden or pitiful.  Although when you will not ask people for help while you are sane you certainly become a burden and pitiful when you are not.

I know I need a job and an apartment but I am trying to buy myself some time so that I don't make yet another bad choice on the road of life.  Frankly it is kind of the reason I have ended up begging for a place to stay on my blog.

I'm also putting this on my Facebook page because I'm hoping that my family and my friends who knew me before I became this hand embroidering, blogging mess will have pity on me and I will get to see people whom I love a great deal and would love to visit.

I really do believe in myself and know I will find my answers with the love and assistance of people who love and care about me.  Sometimes you just have to put your faith in god and the universe and pray.  I'm praying.  Thanks for reading.

A Plan

Yes I know a plan and yet another blog post on yet another blog.  I have finally had some clarity and have a plan at least about my blog(or blogs).  You can read my Tangled Stitch Blog about my hand embroidery and fiber art at Tangled Stitch.  You can read my political blog at DebraAnn Left of Center.  I am a purplish liberal but have room at my table for many different ideology believers.

And I am resurrecting The Connections That Bind Us with a renewed focus on the connections that bind us.  I am going to make it a plan to meet one interesting new person every single day and find something(anything really) that I have in common with them.  It won't necessarily be political unless that is the one thing that I have in common with them and it won't necessarily be artistic unless that is the one thing I have in common with them.  But I like people, I like meeting new people and can find something to talk about with everybody I meet. I'm going to venture into the photography world, which is a joke really since I don't like having my own picture taken and I take lousy pictures but I can make people laugh and people always look better with a smile on their face.

I'll start with myself.  I am DebraAnn. I'm a hand embroidery/fiber artist but sadly I have no groupies nor patrons.   I'm 5 foot tall, curvy(yes curvy not pleasingly plump), with soon to be brown hair and a charming smile.  I like to laugh, like to talk, like to hand embroider, and like to read.  I love music, all types of music.  I have a brother Tony who I call Ant(he does not look like an ant), a son Brian, a bunch of wonderful friends and a doorway to a new life.

I am imagining myself the work of my dreams, the home of my dreams, the life of my dreams and the purpose of my dreams.  I am imagining myself in a few months with answers to all those questions using the workbook in ZEN and the Art of Making a Living by Laurence C. Boldt.  I am a very spiritual type and for the life of me I can not figure out the road map quite yet.  But the first step on the journey is knowing it is time to take the first step on the journey and the first step is now. 

I've been going through quite the spiritual awakening the last few months and I have faith and believe the answer is in myself I just have to ask the right questions.  A book called the Zen of Making a Living hopefully has my soul and what it might want at the forefront.  At the moment the biggest contender is becoming a nun at New Skete and eating cheesecake.  Surprisingly I'm going to test my options first, although I really can't think of a more beautiful place to live and a more beautiful thing to eat.  Who doesn't love cheesecake?

I've been kind of stymied the last few months because frankly when you leave a 25 year marriage without a plan and a breakdown in the middle of it, it is kind of hard to chart a course for the next 25 years. Although I do hope I do not end up eating cat food out of a can in 25 years, cheesecake great idea, catfood not so much.

So there you have my story, hopefully there is something you can connect with in that mish mosh of utter spiritually, inspired chaos.  I am hoping you will read my blog and like my assortment of interesting people I don't know yet.    If you would like to be interviewed as my interesting person of the day please email me.  That hopefully will entice at least one person for days when I decide to embroider instead of embarking on a road trip.

I can't promise Hemingway, but I can probably make you laugh or at least smile.  And on those days I"m totally uninspired I will share music or something else that perhaps will make a connection.  Actually I'm thinking bad hair days rather than uninspired, the other day I looked in the mirror and saw Beethoven, he was quite charming really.

Have a great day, laugh smile and be interesting(everybody is).