Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Secret Keeper

All of my life I have been a secret keeper.  A person who attracts people to talk about whatever their soul needs to purge to move on in their lives.  I have had so many experiences and still managed to greet just about everyone with a warm smile and a compassionate ear.  I'm not a therapist, I'm not a priest, I am just a simple but complicated girl with a simple dream. My dream is to take on the topics that others don't really want to talk about such as politics, religion and sex. 

Everyone has a secret.  There is something about every human being that they wish they didn't have to carry.  In a world of positive thinkers they are successful or unsuccessful, a winner or a loser, a saint or a sinner.   But in the world of our brains there is always something we hold close to our vest never to be spoken of.  Until one day we just let it all out.

I have never been good at keeping my own secrets, I'm a pretty open book.  I used to spread the words out in different chapters amongst different readers.  This way I purged my own secrets and nobody knew the whole story.  Sometime in March most of the story came out and the rest has been keeping me in fear since the day my world came crashing down.  I couldn't live with my own secret hell anymore.  I crashed and burned.

A lot of really positive and wonderful changes have happened since then.  I feel closer to God and the universe.  I have learned to replace most of the resentments and sadness with love and happiness and I have learned to appreciate the simple but complicated person with a smile that everyone can talk to or about.  There is a need for us to have these conversations with each other so that we can heal ourselves and become whole before our soul leaves this world.

Our soul is the center of our universe. The soul beckons other lost souls to share their lives.  The soul calls wayward travelers to share their secrets with people they don't know.  Someone who won't judge them,  who will listen and help them move along their way with a smile.  That is what I am, a simple but complicated woman with a simple smile and an ear to listen. I have been so fortunate to meet many strangers who have heard my sentences and even more who have read my chapters.  I am so grateful to all of them.  I find God in my conversations with others and feel I am sharing his essence of who I am when I speak to strangers who let me into their lives in gas stations and supermarkets.  I know that I am not alone in my troubles because I know that everyone has something they have to transcend.

Your secrets may come early in life as mine did or it may come later in life when you just can't remember where you parked your car.    But trouble knocks on everyone's door.  So does beauty and laughter and music and hand embroidery.  Hopefully in our mere mortal lives, the latter knocks more than the former.  Until then I am grateful to be the secret keeper because it is not a good thing to keep our secrets in our heads while it slowly poisons us from the inside out. 

Find God or whoever you believe in.  Find the beauty of art, the movement of music, the laughter of a good joke and most of all find a fellow secret keeper or someone you really trust and get rid of the poison.  And then close your eyes or move your body and DANCE.

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